Choice can make you or break you

 

Make the choice or the choice makes you

This past week my mom passed away, and it left me with lots of thought on life, both my own life and life in general. My mother was 80, and you can say she lived a long life, but she did not live a happy one. Her life choices got me doing some deep thinking about how a choice can make you or break you.

Choices are a daily part of life

Life is full of choices some big, some little, and some that will change your life. How do we know what is the best choice to make, which one to choose, how can we weigh the alternatives and what if we make the wrong decision?

These are all valid questions, and there are no for sure answers. Each of us will have a different set of circumstances on which to evaluate our decision. None of us has an absolute way to guarantee the outcome of any of the more significant life decisions. We can, however, evaluate them in a way that gives us a better chance of success.

Choosing can be challenging

Small choices like the hundreds of little ones we make every day are easy, and we do them without much effort. These can be as simple as what to eat for breakfast or what to wear to work. We don’t sweat these choices.

Another level of life choices is those that can impact our lives more profoundly. Having to make bigger life-changing decisions can be confusing and scary for some of us. We wonder and second guess ourselves and keep turning things over and over attempting to make sure it is the right decision.

I don’t think there is any way to know ultimately how a choice will play out over time. Life has no guarantees, and all we can do is assess the options and make the one we feel will best move us forward to our goal.

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The Insiders guide to being in life’s doghouse

Being in the doghouse is a metaphor

It indicates the adult version of being sent to one’s room. One can be in the doghouse for a wide variety of reasons and situations.  An angry partner, boss, spouse, or even mother. Basically, it means we messed up somehow according to someone else’s expectations, wants or desires.

cloudy dayFor some of us, this may not be a particularly difficult place to wind up in. It may, however, prove to be a challenging place to remove oneself from.

My doghouse of life usually resulted from my mother.

My mother is a person I describe as having no grey area of life. Things are what they are and you are what she expects you to be. No matter what you live up to her expectations or else. It also doesn’t matter how old you get. There are no excuses for anything, not ever.

Me, I am a person full of grey areas in life. Not only do I have them, I also accept them in others.

Nothing in life is perfect and shit happens. Sometimes that stuff is beyond our control and some days life just gets the best of us. What I may have put in the front of my mind in the morning, by evening could have totally escaped, nowhere to be seen.

I may not have even caught that I lost track of that thing I was supposed to remember or do for a few days. When suddenly it pops into my head, colorful expletives come out, and now I have to make the fateful call.

What comes next

Reluctantly I dial the phone, knowing all too well what was coming. I could tell by the cold curt tone of her hello exactly what that meant. The doghouse is waiting for me.

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